


Beyond My Heart (Into My Soul)

by mirrormirrora



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Azazel doesn't want Valentine, BAMF Alec Lightwood, BAMF Magnus Bane, Episode AU: s02e11 Mea Maxima Culpa, Fix-It, M/M, Non-Consensual Touching, Protective Alec Lightwood, Protective Magnus Bane, The switch didn't happen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2020-06-28 03:48:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19804087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirrormirrora/pseuds/mirrormirrora
Summary: “You seek the mortal cup, we seek the return of our friend.”But Azazel doesn't want the mortal cup. He wants Magnus Bane, instead.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place in Season 2 Episode 11, Mea Maxima Culpa - A fix-it of sorts, because honestly that switch!plotline still is ridiculous at this point.

Azazel stands, tall and devious in the pentagram. Pursed lips, eyes in wonderment as he takes in the lighted pentagram on the concrete floor. It’s crisp, perfect, a meticulously well-done up pentagram, he notes. He brings his head up, gleaming eyes take in the Shadowhunters around. He turns further and is glad that his gaze meets Magnus Bane and an almost Cheshire cat grin curls on his lips.

“Well, if it isn’t _Magnus Bane_ ,” Azazel greets, voice low, “Brave move.”

Magnus is taken back by the recognition. Azazel makes a move, stepping forward and Magnus pushes all his magic through the pentagram, blasting Azazel with enough energy for him to realize that he’s trapped and Magnus isn’t having it any other way.

“Return Isabelle Lightwood,” Magnus demands and tilts his head back to Valentine, “And we’ll hand over Valentine. He can lead you to the Moral Cup.”

Azazel is intrigued as he turns and studies Valentine, “Valentine Morgensten. The man who dares to dream big.”

Azazel huffs a chuckle before he turns around, piercing black eyes looking Magnus with intent. He scoffs and then says, “It is a tempting offer. But I don’t have your friend Isabelle.”

“He’s lying!” Alec shouts, voice full of emotions.

Azazel doesn’t look too pleased but Magnus holds out his hands, controlling the magic around the pentagram. He feels his hold slipping, Azazel is obviously trying to break free despite his cool exterior. Magnus can feel his magic, fighting silently against his.

“I don’t have her,” Azazel says once more.

Alec and Jace exchange looks, both men standing their ground. They’re ready for an attack, but obviously none of them had thought about what were to be done if Azazel hadn’t accepted to the exchange for Valentine.

“I could be of assistance, however.” Azazel grins, eyes teasing but with meaning.

Alec looks at Magnus and Magnus doesn’t know what Azazel means. He knows that something is up, however because the greater demon does look like he has something impossibly devious up his sleeves.

“I will propose another exchange,” Azazel begins, maintaining eye contact with Magnus and only Magnus, “I will find your friend, Isabelle.”

“And what do you want in exchange?” Magnus asks, almost afraid of the answer.

Azazel stares at him, long and hard. He feels chills on the back of his neck and Azazel’s eyes sweep down his body and then he’s smirking, raw emotions behind those black orbs.

“A night with you, Bane.” Azazel whispers, low and suggestive.

Magnus tenses, his throat is dry but his heart is beating wildly against his chest. Magnus hears Alec cursing, hears the sharp intake of Jace’s breath.

“ _No_ ,” Alec’s voice is clear, as he pulls his bow and nocks an arrow, aiming at Azazel.

“Alec, wait!” Jace calls, “He has Izzy!”

Alec’s knuckles are pale as he grips his bow. He’s at war with his heart and Magnus’s skin crawls from Azazel’s smirk. He doesn’t know what is the truth, doesn’t know if Azazel really does have Isabelle. But Magnus notes that Alec is frozen, unsure just like him.

“So the deal is set,” Satisfaction glints in the greater demon’s cold eyes, he steps forward, and Magnus feels his magic slipping, the pentagram isn’t as strong as before. Magnus doesn’t know if it’s his magic depleting or if it’s his fear that is weakening the pentagram. Either way, Azazel steps forward, too close to Magnus. He brushes the back of his fingers against Magnus collarbones and Magnus trembles. He winks, and then everything goes dark.

Azazel disappears, the pentagram fades out.

Magnus inhales deeply, releasing a shaky breath. He’s lived through centuries and he’s hardly shaken by anything, or anyone. But Azazel is different. His demonic eyes burns through him, his touch makes Magnus want to shrivel away in fear and disgust. He reminds Magnus of his father, abusive, dangerous and absolutely inhumane.

Alec is in an instant next to Magnus, cupping Magnus’s cheek so hard. His hazel eyes searches across Magnus’s face, eyes full of worry and guilt.

“Magnus,” Alec breathes a promise, “I’ll kill him.”

Magnus makes a choked sound because as much as he wants Alec’s arrow pierced through Azazel’s demonic heart, Magnus knows that it’s not possible. Because Alec’s sister is in his hands and if they wanted her back, then a sacrifice must be made.


	2. Chapter 2

Alec feels completely lost.

He doesn’t know what to do. His sister is missing and a prince of hell is demanding his boyfriend in exchange for his sister’s safety. No amount of shadowhunter training has ever prepared him for this. Maybe this was why they had kept saying, “Emotions Cloud Judgement”. Because if Alec hadn’t fell for Magnus, then this probably wouldn’t happen. None of this would happen.

But, Alec sighs, because he’s never once regret falling in love with Magnus Bane. He’s been happier ever since. Magnus makes him happy. So, so happy. Magnus makes Alec believe in himself, and Alec wonders if Magnus hadn’t entered his life, how empty would he still feel right now.

Magnus is Alec’s world and there is no way, absolutely no fucking way for Alec to give the love of his life up to a prince of hell. Magnus has been silent ever since the summoning but Alec knows that his head is filled with many unsettling thoughts. They’re back at the loft now, Magnus restlessly browsing through books to find if there is any spell that can locate Isabelle. Tracking somehow doesn’t work, and this scares Alec even more wondering if Azazel really has Izzy with him.

Alec runs a hand down his face, frustrated. They don’t have much time. In fact, Alec doesn’t know when Azazel will be coming back. He knows that they’ve to work fast, either way. Magnus makes a frustrated groan before he pushes away the book he’s looking through.

“Alexander, there is nothing in here that will help track Isabelle.” Magnus complains, “Or anything about how to banish Azazel.”

“There must be something in the Institute archives.” Alec pulls out his phone to get updates from Jace. Jace replies his text in under a minute, telling him that he has nothing but he’s still working with Clary to find any possibility to get rid of Azazel.

Alec doesn’t have to tell Magnus of the bad news because Magnus is already huffing in frustrated at Alec’s reaction to the text. Magnus shakes his head and walks towards the balcony, his hands clenching onto the metal railing.

“Alexander…” Magnus begins quietly but before he’s able to continue, Alec wraps him up in his arms from behind. He knows what Magnus is about to say.

“Don’t continue what you’re about to say.” Alex whispers quietly, arms tightening around Magnus’s waist, “Please don’t.”

“I won’t let that bastard touch you, Magnus.” Alec promises, letting him go and instead pulling him around so that Magnus is looking at Alec.

Magnus looks down, his shoulders are slumped and he looks so broken that Alec wants nothing than to do pull him into his arms and never let him go. Instead, Alec cradles his face and softly presses his lips against Magnus’s.

“Alexander… We need to do this.” Magnus quietly says, “Isabelle is-”

“Strong.” Alec continues, “She won’t let Azazel do anything to her. If she knows what we’ve sacrificed for her, she won’t ever forgive herself, Magnus.”

Magnus stares into Alec’s eyes, long and hard and then he looks away and nods and Alec releases a breath of relief. He knows Magnus feels the need to sacrifice himself for Izzy. But he also knows that Magnus wouldn’t let Izzy live with such guilt.

“We’ll get her back,” Alec promises with a heavy heart, “But we’re not going to sacrifice you to do it.”

Magnus nods, his hands find Alec’s and his tangles their fingers together, lifting their joined hands to kiss it, “Thank you for loving me, Alexander.”

Alec’s voice is caught in his throat at the depth of those words. Magnus sounds so vulnerable, unlike his usual confidence that a part of Alec breaks. How many times has he been let down for him to believe that he’s not worth loving? Alec doesn’t reply, instead, he pulls Magnus close, as close as possible and holds him tight in his arms. He may be mortal, but Alec swears that he’s going to spend the rest of his life showing Magnus that he’s worth all the love in this world.

***

A few hours later, Alec receives a call from Jace, telling him that Izzy had returned to the Institute, completely unharmed. Apparently, she had been with a shadowhunter who had saved her from Azazel. Alec’s heart burst with joy because not only is his little sister safe, but she’s not in Azazel’s hold. Alec hangs up and calls Magnus, telling him that Izzy is at the institute. Alec’s mind takes a mental picture of Magnus’s smile when he hears the good news. Magnus looks so relieved that his glamour drops and they’re shining so bright that Alec feels it could very well replace the sun. Before Magnus opens a portal to the institute, Alec pulls Magnus close and gives him a deep kiss, one with tongues and teeth crashing, one that promises of a sleepless night later.

“I love you,” Alec whispers against Magnus’s lips and Magnus smiles, kissing Alec as eagerly back.

They portal into the institute and Izzy runs into Alec’s arms. She’s heard of the summoning and Izzy apologizes repeatedly, promising Alec that something like this will never happen again. She then hugs Magnus and apologizes to him as well, telling him to never _ever_ sacrifice himself like that no matter what happens. Once she lets them go, Izzy introduces them to Sebastian, a tall blonde Shadowhunter from the London Institute, who had been Izzy’s saviour. Magnus shakes his hand, thanking him and while Alec is thankful hat he’s saved his sister, Alec is still very much still on the fence about this stranger who gives Alec an unsettling feeling.

“So, what are we going to do about Azazel?” Clary questions.

“We can help,” Izzy suggests and then gestures to Sebastian, “Sebastian saved my life when Azazel was trying to come after me. He’s an expert in all things Azazel.”

“When I studied abroad at the Paris Institute, I specialized in Greater Demons.” The blonde Shadowhunter informs everyone.

“So how do we take him down?” Jace asks.

“The only way to banish Azazel is to puncture his demonic core. In corporal form, it’s between the T8 and T9 vertebrae.” Sebastian pauses, shaking his head, “But it’s not simple. The core is about the size of a pea.”

“So, the entry’s point right below his sternum?” Jace asks and when Sebastian nods, he continues, “If I can get close enough, I call kill him.”

“You wouldn’t have enough velocity.” Sebastian argues, doubtful.

Alec doesn’t agree with that, because quite honestly, Jace is one of the best warriors in the shadow world and so, he’s confident in Jace’s ability. Sebastian’s about to continue but Alec holds up his hand.

“Thank you for the intel, Sebastian.” Alec says, “But we’ll take it from here.”

Sebastan offers to help but Alec politely declines, telling him that he does not clearance for this mission. Izzy and even Clary seems unhappy with this, and Alec only shrugs because it is the truth. Despite his extensive knowledge on Greater Demons, Sebastian is from the London Insitute and so, Alec is not able to dispatch him to this mission.

Alec is about to explain to the girls of his decision but there’s a sudden alarm. Jace quickly pulls up the screen, checking to see what was happening. They’re greeted by an alert of an attack at Hunter’s Moon.

“Looks like Azazel is heading south.” Izzy reads the details of the attack, “Two dead werewolves with Azazel’s signature M.O.”

“We need to go,” Jace decides, “If he’s there, we can still try and banish them.”

The rest nods, and Alec is about to leave before he realizes that Magnus has been next to him all this time, silently listening in. Alec suddenly remembers of the way Azazel looks at Magnus and he doesn’t want Magnus anywhere near the Greater Demon.

“Magnus,” Alec breathes, “You need to stay here.”

Magnus frowns, “Alexander, if you’re going to try and banish a Prince of Hell, I’d rather be with you and offer you any help necessary.”

“I…”

Alec isn’t able to continue because Magnus has his determined look on, and Alec knows there’s no winning when Magnus has set his mind. He exhales roughly and quietly mutters an okay. Magnus smiles, hands briefly cupping Alec's face before he's opening up a portal. It’s a bad idea, and he can’t guarantee Magnus’s safety. before they leave, Alec looks at Sebastian and then points to him. If they're going to be facing Azazel and keep an eye on Magnus a tthe same time, then he'll need all the help he can get. He just hopes that he won't regret this. 

“I’m sending a fire message to your head of Institute,” Alec tells him, “You’re coming with us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! Thank you!


	3. Chapter 3

The air feels _thick_ and _heavy_.

It’s unsettling how eerily empty it is. The Hunter’s Moon is usually buzzling with chatters and laughter. Downworlders feel safe here, where they can be themselves, where they didn’t have o hide who they were. Right now however, there was no sight of anyone. The chairs were upturned, tables thrown against walls and the air in the place felt too hot.

“Everyone be alert,” Alec orders, bow and arrow at the ready as he leads them in.

Alec doesn’t like this. His gut is telling him to get out, drag Magnus out and keep him locked in the Institute where he is safe in his arms. But this is what needs to be done, he has to banish Azazel once and for all. He knows Azazel is still here, he can _feel_ it. Alec feels eyes on him, eyes on his team and eyes on Magnus. He feels them, vile and destructive, with an absolute rotten intent.

They barely make in two steps into Hunter’s Moon when a flurry of hot air swirls around the group. Azazel appears in front of them in a sleek suit, a smirk on his face as he eyes the team. Alec watches as he takes a long look at each of the group, pausing at Izzy. Alec immediately moves, blocking Izzy from the demon’s line of sight.

“Looks like you’ve found your sister,” Azazel licks his lips, tilting his head, eyes now on Alec, “So where does that leave us with our deal?”

“We never agreed to any type of deal.” Alec says, voice low and steady.

“Oh, but we did.” Azazel shakes his head, “And I don’t take no for an answer.”

“You don’t belong here, Azazel.” Jace sneers, “It’s time you go back to wherever you came from.”

“I’d like to see you try.” Azazel challenges before he’s rushing forward, eyes suddenly black and dark. He moves quickly, and suddenly he has Jace pinned up against a wall, hands on Jace’s throat, holding him up. Jace struggles, gasping for air.

“Jace!” Alec shouts before everyone starts moving, he shoots an arrow but Azazel is gone and thankfully, Jace falls down onto the floor and avoids the arrow flying his way.

Izzy manages to wrap her whip against Azazel’s wrists and Clary takes out her dagger, running towards him. Azazel growls, pulling the whip and shoves Izzy against Clary, both the girls tumbling back. He turns around and tilts his head to Sebastian.

“ _You_ don’t belong here.” Azazel grins, “What is your plan?”

Sebastian mutters something under his breath before he leaps towards Azazel. Azazel shakes his head, hands suddenly flying out, and everyone in the rooms gets knocks down by a strong gust of wind. He rubs his palms together and releases a sound frequency so ear-piercing that everyone drops onto the floor, covering their eyes as they struggle against the sound. The greater demon laughs sinisterly and walks towards Magnus.

“Magnus!” Alec shouts, his vision blurry.

Alec’s head is pounding and his vision is getting blurry with every passing minute. He struggles as he watches Azazel, dark eyes never leaving his lover. Magnus has dropped to his knees, hands clutching onto his ears. Azazel stops in front of Magnus and then he’s suddenly being shoved to a nearby wall. Azazel presses his body against Magnus’s, licking his lips.

“Hello beautiful.” Azazel runs a finger down Magnus’s cheeks, and then nuzzles into Magnus’s neck, “Your father has been waiting for you. Time to go home.”

Azazel’s fingers stroke Magnus’s cheeks, and Magnus winces struggling against Azazel’s hold on him. The greater demon latches his lips to Magnus’s neck, kissing and biting into Magnus’s skin.

“Let… Go!” Magnus manages in between pained gasps.

“Your father wants me to pass you a message,” Azazel’s hands suddenly glow a dark red. He brings them up and touches Magnus’s head and Magnus lets out the loudest scream Alec has ever heard.

Alec pushes part the hurt. His head is too fuzzy, but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t stop Azazel. He staggers, willing his body to hold himself up before he summons his bow and arrow. He closes his eyes, squeezes it tight, and then opens them. He gets a second of clarity and he shoots his arrow before he drops onto the floor. The arrow pierces Azazel’s neck, right in the jugulars. He falls back in surprised and releases Magnus who falls onto the floor. The sound stops with Azazel distracted and Alec takes the opportunity to gather himself, pulling out his seraph blade as he rushes towards Azazel. He traps the demon against the wall, eyes red and growls.

“What did you to him?!” Alec growls, seraph blade digging into Azazel’s bloody neck. The demon doesn’t seem fazed. He begins laughing and Alec presses the seraph blade deeper.

“Just gave him a little present,” Azazel says, “He’ll enjoy it, trust-”

Azazel doesn’t get to finish his sentence. Alec pulls his bow and plunges it, stabs it right below his sternum, exactly where his demonic core is. Azazel’s eyes widen before he shouts and bursts into flames. Alec doesn’t wait a second before he’s rushing to Magnus, dropping to his knees. Magnus isn’t moving, his face is awfully pale and Alec’s hands shake as he feels for a pulse.

 _Nothing_.

Alec’s hands begin shaking more, tears begin welling in his eyes. Alec presses his fingers deeper into Magnus’s already bruised skin and he nearly collapses in relief when he feels a pulse. He sighs and then presses his forehead against his lover.

“Magnus,” He whispers, “Magnus..”

Alec doesn’t realize his siblings gathering around him. Jace gives Alec’s shoulder a squeeze and Izzy settles herself on the other side of Magnus.

“Let’s bring him back to the institute, Alec.” She says softly and Alec nods. His body feels like it’s on fire. He’s so exhausted and in pain but he stands up and holds Magnus in his arm, cradling his body close to him. Clary opens a portal and before Alec steps through it, he presses a firm kiss on Magnus’s forehead.

\----

It’s been hours since Catarina attends to Magnus. The crew had applied iratzes on themselves and they’re slowly healing. Alec tells his siblings and Clary and Sebastian to get some rest, they need it just as much. Sebastian heads to his room but the rest refuses to move a single step.

“You need rest too, buddy.” Jace tells him, handing him a cup of coffee.

“I just… I’ll wait until Catarina is done healing him.” Alec sighs, “Please… Go. I promise, I’ll be fine.”

Jace and Clary exchange looks before Jace claps Alec’s shoulder, telling him to call him if anything comes up. Alec nods and watches as Jace and Clary goes. He feels Izzy shuffling next to him, cuddling next to him on the small bench outside the infirmary. Alec knows his sister and he knows that Izzy is way too stubborn to listen to him and so he closes his eyes, wraps hi arms around his sister and melts into her warmth.

“Magnus will be okay, Alec.” Izzy whispers, voice filled with so many emotions.

“I know. He’s strong… It’s just…” Alec swallows a lump in his throat as the memories from what happened replays itself in his head, “I…. I shouldn’t have let him come with.”

Thinking of Azazel’s lips on Magnus, Azazel pressing Magnus against the wall…. The things he did to Magnus was vile. Alec had never seen Magnus so… Helpless. It broke him then and now, Alec just wants to hold his boyfriend in his arms. Izzy tightens her hold on her brother but she doesn’t say anything and Alec is thankful for that.

Alec doesn’t know how long it’s been but when Catarina finally steps out of the infirmary with a small smile on her lips, Alec feels like he can finally take a breath. Izzy has fallen asleep and so Alec slowly disentangles himself from his sister before he quietly follows Catarina into the infirmary.

Magnus is asleep on the hospital bed, wires hooked onto different parts of his body. The room feels too constricting with machines beeping every now and then, but Alec keeps his eyes on Magnus. His pale boyfriend sleeping on the hospital bed pains his heart.

“He’s okay, Alec.” Catarina tells him. “He’s just suffering from magic depletion. He should be able to wake up in a few more hours once he regains the energy he’s lost.”

Alec blinks, “Catarina… Magnus didn’t use his magic at all. How…. How is that possible?

Catarina nods, “I know. His magic depletion isn’t anything physical. While I was checking him, I noticed that Magnus’s magic was going haywire. It’s when you told me that Azazel did something to Magnus that I realized what was going on. Azazel did something and tried to mess with Magnus’s mind. Magnus’s magic has been fighting it for the past few hours. His magic is depleted now.”

Alec reaches down and squeezes Magnus’s hands, closing his eyes as he listens to Catarina explaining to him of Magnus’s condition. “That son of a bitch,” Alec curses, “What did he do to Magnus?”

Catarina sighs, “I can’t tell but if Magnus’s magic is fighting this hard, it could mean that Azazel planted some memories in Magnus’s head. It could be a past memory, or a false one. Either way, Magnus is fighting this with all that he is. He’s strong, Alec.”

Alec nods. He knows that. Magnus is the strongest person Alec has ever met. But Alec thinks of how soft his boyfriend is, how kind and beautiful he is. Magnus doesn’t deserve this, his boyfriend doesn’t deserve the darkness he has faced. Alec squeezes Magnus’s hands once more. Catarina tells Alec that she has to go and will be back in a few hours. Alec thanks her and watches her as she portals out.

Alec takes a seat next to Magnus’s bed, elbows resting on Magnus’s bed. He pushes a few strands of hair back against Magnus’s forehead and moves forward to drop a soft kiss on Magnus’s cheeks.

“Hey you,” Alec whispers, bringing their joined hands to his lips. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Half an hour later, Alec feels Magnus shifts. He stands a little too fast, his head pounding slightly. But he pushes away the dizziness and watches as Magnus slowly lifts his eyes open. Alec’s breath catches as Magnus’s cat eyes stares straight into him. The room is silent and Alec holds his breath. But when Magnus manages a small smile, Alec exhales long and hard. He chuckles, so damn happy suddenly.

“Hey,” Magnus whispers, voice slightly hoarse.

Alec smiles, kissing Magnus’s knuckles, “Hi. How are you feeling?”

“Tired,” Magnus quietly replies, “So so tired.”

“I know.” Alec nods, “Go back to sleep, Magnus. I’ll be here.”

Magnus doesn’t move, just stares at Alec with his cat-eyes. They shine so beautifully against the white hospital lights and Alec chuckles, unsure of how that is even possible. He’s always loved Magnus’s real eyes. Alec watches mesmerized as Magnus’s cat eyes shimmer in the light.

“You saved me,” Magnus whispers, “Thank you.”

Alec shakes his head, “You… You’re here because of me, Magnus.”

Magnus shakes his head, reaching up his hands as he cups Alec’s cheeks, “Even in those… _Dreams_ … You still saved me.”

Alec doesn’t know what to say. He wants to ask Magnus what those dreams were about but he doesn’t move. Magnus is watching him with pride and warmth and Alec lets himself get lost a little on Magnus’s touch. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, inhaling Magnus’s sandalwood scent. He brings his hands up and interlaces his fingers with Magnus’s, eyes meeting Magnus’s.

“You don’t have to fight alone, you’re never alone anymore, Magnus.” Alec tells him, promises whispered in between each word, “I’m here. I’ll always be here.”

Alec means every word of it. He utters it with promise and Alec realizes now that his love for Magnus is eternal, it’s forever. It’s raw and strong, and sometimes it takes his breath away. Alec’s love for Magnus is beyond his heart, and Alec feels it deep in his own soul. Alec makes a promises to himself that he’s never leaving this man, he’s never letting Magnus go. Somehow Magnus must have felt him, must have felt the depth of Alec’s love for him because Magnus’s lips slowly curl into a soft smile, a smile of appreciation, a smile of happiness and love.’

“We’ll be okay.” Alec kisses Magnus’s lips, a soft promising one.

Magnus nods and for the first time, Alec knows that Magnus believes it too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been a few long months! Sorry for the long wait but lockdown definitely helped with this update! Hope everyone is doing well, staying safe and healthy during this crazy time. Hoped you enjoy this story and comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! Thank you!


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